Poor as church mice.
Probably the most accurate description of our growing family in those early years in Portland. Fred's gross income was $1750 a month. Even in 1989 that couldn't possibly go far enough. I worked out a budget that seemed pretty impossible. After we paid the mortgage on our house, the utilities, and the insurances that left $17 a month to buy everything else. We needed more miracles. And the Lord sent them regularly. It is how we lived.
Not many days after we moved into our house a stranger showed up at our door. He introduced himself as Arnie Borgersen. He and his sweet wife lived just down the street and they were leaving shortly on a mission for our church. He asked if I would be interested in taking care of his home while they were gone for which he would pay me. It gave me a little bit of grocery money.
Then I was assigned to visit teach Marva Price and soon I was babysitting her two youngest girls before and after school. That added a little more, not to mention brought us some very good friends.
We knew God was watching out for us and helping us. But He had much more to teach us using these circumstances as our schoolroom. God is the perfect schoolmaster.
Because of my earlier experiences in prayer and our miracle house I was quickly developing great faith in the promises found in the scriptures. I knew I could pray and be heard. I knew I could ask and receive. And I learned to ask regularly and specifically.
A routine developed. Monday morning, look at the needs for the week. Did I need milk? Did anyone need shoes? Was there an unexpected bill? A school fee? Take those needs to the Lord. And then wait to see His Mighty Hand unfold.
I remember so clearly wanting $12 for school pictures when one of my kids started first grade. It was the cheapest picture available but I didn't have the needed $12. My heart yearned to preserve that precious moment in time with a picture. So I prayed. I had been searching the scriptures to know just what God's instructions were concerning prayer and I knew that they taught that we could ask for what we needed but also for things we simply wanted. I also knew that I could not ask flippantly but instead carefully, to "ask not amiss," and to be willing to submit to the Lord's will in all things. After all, He knows far better than I do just what is good for me to receive.
He sent the $12 and everything else I needed along the way. Just another of His many, many gifts to me because I learned to ask.
The most visible reminder I have of those early years and the lessons of asking is my rocking chair, a double rocker, perfect for a mother who always had a baby on her lap and toddlers at her sides.
I frequently stopped at garage sales, hoping to pick up things we needed for a low price. One day I stopped at a beautiful home where the entire block was having a sale. The homeowner was sitting in a double rocking chair while she tended her "store". Hanging on the back was a tag, $300. I quickly looked through her other things and went home. But I couldn't get that double rocker out of my mind. In fact, my heart yearned for it. And I was surprised by that. "Stuff" has never meant much to me. I was most often quite content with the hand-me-down furniture we had and often hand-me-down clothes. I had what I really wanted in my husband and children. So I really was surprised to find an ache in my heart for a chair, and one so far out of my reach. Finally, though, I went back to the garage sale and looked at that rocker again. I told the owner that I couldn't afford the chair but wondered if she would consider selling it for less if it didn't sell by the end of the sale. She thought for a moment and then asked, "How much did you have in mind?" Well, I hadn't actually thought that far and I was a bit embarrassed anyway but I blurted out, "$150?" To my surprise she said that she would consider that and took my phone number.
Well, on Friday she called. She still had the chair and said that I could have it for my offer of $150. I delayed by saying that I needed to talk to my husband and that I would call her back to let her know. What was I thinking?!! It might as well have been $1500! I didn't have $150 and no way to get it either.
I called Fred to tell him about the chair, and then I asked him, "If I can come up with $150, can I buy that chair?" His response was, "You can have anything you want if you can find a way to pay for it!"
So, I took it to the Lord. I remember that prayer as if it was yesterday. "I know there are people starving in the world and that in the grand scheme of things a chair doesn't matter at all. But You have also told us in the scriptures that we can pray not only for what we need but for what we want. My heart aches for that chair. I don't know why. You know that "things" just don't matter that much to me. But I am asking if You will send $150 to me so that I can buy that chair."
I laid it at His Feet and then I waited to see what His answer would be.
It didn't take long. Actually, that very day my prayer was answered. It doesn't always happen that way but this time it did.
My phone rang and it was Marva. She always paid me on Friday. Ten dollars one week. Fifteen another. She told me that she didn't want to keep writing little checks like that and wondered if she could just write me one big check and have me keep track of my daycare hours and then let her know when she owed me more. That was fine with me. No amount was discussed, just a new process.
Late in the afternoon Marva arrived and handed me a check. $150. I stared at it in amazement and then looked at her and asked, "How does it feel to be the answer to someone's prayer today?" Wow!
I called Fred and asked him to bring home the temple pickup so that we could go get my chair. I had my money. He wanted to know if I had robbed a bank.
I brought that chair home with a deep gratitude in my heart. I felt so very loved by my Heavenly Father. He cared about the little things in my life as well as the big things. Whether it was a gallon of milk I needed for my children, a school picture, or a chair. Or a house. He knew. And He cared. He just waited for me to ask.
Our $17 budget was increased just like those loaves and fishes in the Bible. Every bit as much of a miracle. (See Matthew 14:13-21)
And, you know, when it is just me, I sit across from that chair instead of in it so that I can look at it, that visible reminder that God hears me, He loves me, and He will help me. You, too.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
The Miracle of the House
Moving time. 1989. Fred was hired as a temple engineer at the Portland LDS Temple. He left for Portland and I stayed behind with five kids to sell the house and pull the move together.
Money (or the lack of it) was a real problem. The house we were selling was purchased on a government low-income program and we had been in it less than a year so there was nothing to put down on another one. And the job in Portland paid very little (but had the potential for more). In fact, when I called around to pre-qualify for a loan I was told I could spend $35,000. Even in 1989 that wouldn't buy a house in the metro area. I was in trouble.
There was only one thing that I was certain of as we faced these realities. We had to buy a house. I couldn't afford to rent, not with five little kids. Houses for rent were too much money for my meager budget; and what apartment complex would rent to someone with five kids even if I found one I could afford! So I had to buy a house.
I had no experience in such things and didn't know I was looking at the near-impossible. But, I had my new-found faith in asking God. (See previous post, I Didn't Believe It.) So I went to the Lord in prayer about my needs and desires regarding moving. Here is the list that I felt my family needed:
Fred was working long hours and not available to help me house hunt so I asked Mom and Dad to go with me to Portland and help me find a house to buy. They had plenty of experience in such things and having them with me bolstered my confidence.
Well, long story short, my mother insisted that we look at houses right around the temple. Have you seen the houses around the temple?! Not $35,000. I had done enough research to know that if I lived way out of town I could find a fixer-upper for $35,000. There were a few out there. But, if you knew my mother, you would know that it is easier not to argue with her. So I humored her. There is an older neighborhood behind the temple so we drove around there. Still way out of my budget. But she spotted one for sale and insisted we look at it. Heavy sigh. Why waste the realtor's time? I CAN'T AFFORD THIS HOUSE! But, like I said, it is just easier not to try to out-stubborn my mother. So we called the realtor and asked to see the house. And the miracles began.
First miracle. Seeing the house. The realtor tried to call the listing agent. But no one answered the phone at their office. It was a large company in the metro area. What company doesn't answer their phone?! But they didn't. And good thing because it turns out the house was already sold and we never would have gone to look. But there was a lock-box on the house so the agent met us to let us in.
Miracle #2. I knew it was mine. The moment I stepped over the threshold of the little house I felt something inside tell me clearly that this was my home. It was strong enough that I wandered through the home and property thinking things like, "I wonder what my bedroom looks like."
Miracle #3. Everything I asked for. I was amazed to find this little house had everything I had asked God for. Four bedrooms, two baths. A large dream kitchen that was newly remodeled with tons of storage and work space....and pretty. Oh, how I loved that kitchen! The living room was tiny but it didn't really matter because I didn't have anything to put in it anyway. But the yard. Oh, the yard! That was a miracle all by itself. The house was in Lake Oswego which touts itself the city of trees. This property was probably the one property in town that had no shade trees but one lone apple tree in the corner....plenty of sun available for the garden I needed! And a fence! Not a pretty fence, mind you, but a fence. And a large piece of property, plenty of distance to the neighbors. And to mute the noise of my joyful children, the property backed the freeway which produced a sort-of constant ocean sound in the back. The kids could run, whoop, and holler all they wanted without the sound carrying in any annoying way to the neighbors. I felt like God had wrapped that house with a huge red bow to present as a gift. And it really was a gift. A gift of a place to live but also a spiritual gift of increasing my faith in God, His Might and Mercy, and in prayer. Oh, the comfort of prayer!
Miracle #4. The money to pay for it. The house was listed at $59,900. That was an inexpensive house in an expensive area. But it was still far more than I had the means for. After we finished our tour of the home we gathered in the kitchen to talk. Dad pulled out his trusty calculator and started doing some figuring. Finally he turned to me and asked if I could afford a certain amount each month. I can't remember the exact figure now but it was something like $684. That was within the budget I had planned and I told him I could. Then he told me that he would be the bank. He would buy the house and I would make my payments to him; and when we were situated well enough to be able to get a traditional mortgage, we could refinance and pay him off. We set it at the going rate of 10% interest. That was more than fair. It was a huge blessing and one I had not expected.
Miracle #5. The house became available. The realtor called to make our offer (they answered the phone this time!) only to be told that the house was sold. What a shock and disappointment. And I was confused. I knew what I felt as I entered that house. I knew it was mine. So what was happening? We spent the rest of the day house hunting but found nothing. With only a half hour left before my parents had to leave Portland, we were back in the realtor's office hoping for more listings. The phone rang and our realtor answered. Then we heard her say, "Well, you're in luck. They are standing right here." We gave her our full attention. She put her hand over the receiver and turned to us to ask, "Would you still like to make an offer on that first house? Apparently the other people lied on their loan application and the deal has fallen through." "YES!"
We spent 15 years in that wonderful little house, adding two more children. Many happy years. So glad I asked.
How has God answered your prayers?
Money (or the lack of it) was a real problem. The house we were selling was purchased on a government low-income program and we had been in it less than a year so there was nothing to put down on another one. And the job in Portland paid very little (but had the potential for more). In fact, when I called around to pre-qualify for a loan I was told I could spend $35,000. Even in 1989 that wouldn't buy a house in the metro area. I was in trouble.
There was only one thing that I was certain of as we faced these realities. We had to buy a house. I couldn't afford to rent, not with five little kids. Houses for rent were too much money for my meager budget; and what apartment complex would rent to someone with five kids even if I found one I could afford! So I had to buy a house.
I had no experience in such things and didn't know I was looking at the near-impossible. But, I had my new-found faith in asking God. (See previous post, I Didn't Believe It.) So I went to the Lord in prayer about my needs and desires regarding moving. Here is the list that I felt my family needed:
- 4 bedrooms
- 2 baths
- large kitchen (because all of my babies played around me constantly while I was working in there)
- I told the Lord the rest of the inside of the house didn't matter since I didn't really have much to put in it anyway
- large yard with no shade trees because I needed to grow a large garden in order to feed my family
- and could it be fenced, please, so I could contain my large brood
- a fruit tree, perhaps, to add to my food stores
- I also wanted the yard to be large and wide to put a little distance between me and my neighbors because people just aren't used to large families anymore, and I didn't want to annoy anyone.
Fred was working long hours and not available to help me house hunt so I asked Mom and Dad to go with me to Portland and help me find a house to buy. They had plenty of experience in such things and having them with me bolstered my confidence.
Well, long story short, my mother insisted that we look at houses right around the temple. Have you seen the houses around the temple?! Not $35,000. I had done enough research to know that if I lived way out of town I could find a fixer-upper for $35,000. There were a few out there. But, if you knew my mother, you would know that it is easier not to argue with her. So I humored her. There is an older neighborhood behind the temple so we drove around there. Still way out of my budget. But she spotted one for sale and insisted we look at it. Heavy sigh. Why waste the realtor's time? I CAN'T AFFORD THIS HOUSE! But, like I said, it is just easier not to try to out-stubborn my mother. So we called the realtor and asked to see the house. And the miracles began.
First miracle. Seeing the house. The realtor tried to call the listing agent. But no one answered the phone at their office. It was a large company in the metro area. What company doesn't answer their phone?! But they didn't. And good thing because it turns out the house was already sold and we never would have gone to look. But there was a lock-box on the house so the agent met us to let us in.
Miracle #2. I knew it was mine. The moment I stepped over the threshold of the little house I felt something inside tell me clearly that this was my home. It was strong enough that I wandered through the home and property thinking things like, "I wonder what my bedroom looks like."
Miracle #3. Everything I asked for. I was amazed to find this little house had everything I had asked God for. Four bedrooms, two baths. A large dream kitchen that was newly remodeled with tons of storage and work space....and pretty. Oh, how I loved that kitchen! The living room was tiny but it didn't really matter because I didn't have anything to put in it anyway. But the yard. Oh, the yard! That was a miracle all by itself. The house was in Lake Oswego which touts itself the city of trees. This property was probably the one property in town that had no shade trees but one lone apple tree in the corner....plenty of sun available for the garden I needed! And a fence! Not a pretty fence, mind you, but a fence. And a large piece of property, plenty of distance to the neighbors. And to mute the noise of my joyful children, the property backed the freeway which produced a sort-of constant ocean sound in the back. The kids could run, whoop, and holler all they wanted without the sound carrying in any annoying way to the neighbors. I felt like God had wrapped that house with a huge red bow to present as a gift. And it really was a gift. A gift of a place to live but also a spiritual gift of increasing my faith in God, His Might and Mercy, and in prayer. Oh, the comfort of prayer!
Miracle #4. The money to pay for it. The house was listed at $59,900. That was an inexpensive house in an expensive area. But it was still far more than I had the means for. After we finished our tour of the home we gathered in the kitchen to talk. Dad pulled out his trusty calculator and started doing some figuring. Finally he turned to me and asked if I could afford a certain amount each month. I can't remember the exact figure now but it was something like $684. That was within the budget I had planned and I told him I could. Then he told me that he would be the bank. He would buy the house and I would make my payments to him; and when we were situated well enough to be able to get a traditional mortgage, we could refinance and pay him off. We set it at the going rate of 10% interest. That was more than fair. It was a huge blessing and one I had not expected.
Miracle #5. The house became available. The realtor called to make our offer (they answered the phone this time!) only to be told that the house was sold. What a shock and disappointment. And I was confused. I knew what I felt as I entered that house. I knew it was mine. So what was happening? We spent the rest of the day house hunting but found nothing. With only a half hour left before my parents had to leave Portland, we were back in the realtor's office hoping for more listings. The phone rang and our realtor answered. Then we heard her say, "Well, you're in luck. They are standing right here." We gave her our full attention. She put her hand over the receiver and turned to us to ask, "Would you still like to make an offer on that first house? Apparently the other people lied on their loan application and the deal has fallen through." "YES!"
We spent 15 years in that wonderful little house, adding two more children. Many happy years. So glad I asked.
"Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen."
2 Nephi 4:35, The Book of Mormon
How has God answered your prayers?
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
I Didn't Believe It
I have had a practice for years now of reading from the scriptures each morning before starting my day. They never get old, and I continue to learn something each time I am there. And, over the years I have learned to love them. I haven't always understood them. But I have come to love them. And I trust them. With so many conflicting voices and opinions in the world the scriptures give me a foundation I trust. I measure most things against what the scriptures have to say; and if there is a conflict, I go with the scriptures. That feels like the smart thing to do to me.
So you can imagine my shock when I read in Matthew 7:7-8 one day and realized I didn't believe it! Not a bit.
Ask, and it shall be given you? Well, I believed that prophets could ask and it would be given to them. Maybe some other people could have that, too. But, me? I don't think so. And that really bothered me. I really wrestled with this notion and I just couldn't find any place in me that actually believed such a thing.
Eventually, I did what I had been taught by my good mother to do. I knelt down beside my bed, with an agonizing heart, and prayed the simplest prayer that I have ever prayed. "Dear Father, Help Thou mine unbelief."
That was all He needed. My desire to be taught. My request. From that moment on He set out to show me that He means what He says. I didn't know it then but that moment on my knees opened a door to my own Pentecost of sorts. At least that is how I have come to think of the period of time that followed for me. (And I will write about that later.)
After that initial prayer to have my unbelief taken away, I figured that I would need to exercise faith in Him and His Word and give His promises a try.
Ask. And I would receive. Okay. (Said tentatively but with some little bit of hope.) I still remember the very first things I asked for. And I know they probably sound stupid but this is what I asked of the Lord.... Two things. At church I had never been asked to help in the kitchen for any of the many dinners I attended, and I wanted to be asked. So I prayed to be invited to help in the kitchen. And, the second thing was that I had never been asked to sing (perform) in church. I knew I had a good voice and could do it but no one ever asked me, although lots of other people were invited to share their talents. So I asked if I could sing in church. I love music that uplifts and praises God. My two requests of God: the kitchen and singing. Could there be two more random requests?
But, wow! God heard me! And I received! That very week I got two phone calls. One inviting me to sing a duet with another woman in church AND a phone call from the Relief Society president. I wish I remembered who the president was at the time so I could tell her, even today, so many years later, that she was inspired that day to answer a prayer. I'm sure she just thought she was trying to get things organized for a special dinner. She told me that the church's Relief Society General President was coming to visit our stake and asked me if I would help in the kitchen for the dinner they were putting on for her. I was never so happy to say yes. And humbled. Wow! God knew me! He heard me! He answered that prayer, that very timid prayer with the somewhat strange requests. But they had been the desires of my heart. And He knew it. Wow!
Do you think I went from unbelieving to believing?! You bet I did. I have never stopped asking since. And I will be writing about some of the experiences that I have had in asking and the miracles I have seen in my own life because of it.
God knows YOU! He loves you! And He is waiting to answer your prayers as He has answered mine. Ask.
So you can imagine my shock when I read in Matthew 7:7-8 one day and realized I didn't believe it! Not a bit.
7 ¶Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:Well, my little world was rocked! How could I not believe everything in the scriptures? After all, it is the word of God. But there it was staring me in the face and I didn't believe it.
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Ask, and it shall be given you? Well, I believed that prophets could ask and it would be given to them. Maybe some other people could have that, too. But, me? I don't think so. And that really bothered me. I really wrestled with this notion and I just couldn't find any place in me that actually believed such a thing.
Eventually, I did what I had been taught by my good mother to do. I knelt down beside my bed, with an agonizing heart, and prayed the simplest prayer that I have ever prayed. "Dear Father, Help Thou mine unbelief."
That was all He needed. My desire to be taught. My request. From that moment on He set out to show me that He means what He says. I didn't know it then but that moment on my knees opened a door to my own Pentecost of sorts. At least that is how I have come to think of the period of time that followed for me. (And I will write about that later.)
After that initial prayer to have my unbelief taken away, I figured that I would need to exercise faith in Him and His Word and give His promises a try.
Ask. And I would receive. Okay. (Said tentatively but with some little bit of hope.) I still remember the very first things I asked for. And I know they probably sound stupid but this is what I asked of the Lord.... Two things. At church I had never been asked to help in the kitchen for any of the many dinners I attended, and I wanted to be asked. So I prayed to be invited to help in the kitchen. And, the second thing was that I had never been asked to sing (perform) in church. I knew I had a good voice and could do it but no one ever asked me, although lots of other people were invited to share their talents. So I asked if I could sing in church. I love music that uplifts and praises God. My two requests of God: the kitchen and singing. Could there be two more random requests?
But, wow! God heard me! And I received! That very week I got two phone calls. One inviting me to sing a duet with another woman in church AND a phone call from the Relief Society president. I wish I remembered who the president was at the time so I could tell her, even today, so many years later, that she was inspired that day to answer a prayer. I'm sure she just thought she was trying to get things organized for a special dinner. She told me that the church's Relief Society General President was coming to visit our stake and asked me if I would help in the kitchen for the dinner they were putting on for her. I was never so happy to say yes. And humbled. Wow! God knew me! He heard me! He answered that prayer, that very timid prayer with the somewhat strange requests. But they had been the desires of my heart. And He knew it. Wow!
Do you think I went from unbelieving to believing?! You bet I did. I have never stopped asking since. And I will be writing about some of the experiences that I have had in asking and the miracles I have seen in my own life because of it.
God knows YOU! He loves you! And He is waiting to answer your prayers as He has answered mine. Ask.
Another Voice
So many voices.
Communication constant. It would be easy to spend all day on the internet taking in messages. Lots that is of interest. Much that is inane. Some that I prefer to delete or block. But voices everywhere 24-7.
I choose to be yet another voice.
Likely my voice will be lost in the sea of voices. The things I want to talk about are not terribly popular. But I'm going to talk about them anyway.
I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I believe He is my Savior. And my friend.
I have felt His Influence and His Presence in my life.
And the principles He taught are my north star.
I have some experiences to share.
At my age I have had long enough to accumulate quite a few. And I've had a lot of time to think about things. I think about the principles Jesus taught
a lot.
And I have wrestled with those principles a lot.
I haven't always been successful implementing them
but I can say that I have consistently come back to them again and again.
Because they work.
In them I have found peace of mind.
And hope.
They have challenged me.
And made me think.
They still challenge me.
And they always will, I suppose.
Anyway, I want to talk about some of those experiences.
I want to pose questions.
I told you it wasn't very popular.
But I'm gonna do it anyway.
Another Voice
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