I Didn't Believe It

I have had a practice for years now of reading from the scriptures each morning before starting my day.  They never get old, and I continue to learn something each time I am there.  And, over the years I have learned to love them.  I haven't always understood them.  But I have come to love them.  And I trust them.  With so many conflicting voices and opinions in the world the scriptures give me a foundation I trust.  I measure most things against what the scriptures have to say; and if there is a conflict, I go with the scriptures.  That feels like the smart thing to do to me.

So you can imagine my shock when I read in Matthew 7:7-8 one day and realized I didn't believe it! Not a bit.

 7 ¶Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 

Well, my little world was rocked!  How could I not believe everything in the scriptures?  After all, it is the word of God.  But there it was staring me in the face and I didn't believe it.

Ask, and it shall be given you?  Well, I believed that prophets could ask and it would be given to them.  Maybe some other people could have that, too.  But, me?  I don't think so.  And that really bothered me. I really wrestled with this notion and I just couldn't find any place in me that actually believed such a thing.

Eventually, I did what I had been taught by my good mother to do. I knelt down beside my bed, with an agonizing heart, and prayed the simplest prayer that I have ever prayed. "Dear Father, Help Thou mine unbelief."

That was all He needed.  My desire to be taught.  My request.  From that moment on He set out to show me that He means what He says. I didn't know it then but that moment on my knees opened a door to my own Pentecost of sorts. At least that is how I have come to think of the period of time that followed for me. (And I will write about that later.) 

After that initial prayer to have my unbelief taken away, I figured that I would need to exercise faith in Him and His Word and give His promises a try.  

Ask.  And I would receive.  Okay. (Said tentatively but with some little bit of hope.) I still remember the very first things I asked for.  And I know they probably sound stupid but this is what I asked of the Lord.... Two things.  At church I had never been asked to help in the kitchen for any of the many dinners I attended, and I wanted to be asked.  So I prayed to be invited to help in the kitchen. And, the second thing was that I had never been asked to sing (perform) in church.  I knew I had a good voice and could do it but no one ever asked me, although lots of other people were invited to share their talents.  So I asked if I could sing in church.  I love music that uplifts and praises God.  My two requests of God: the kitchen and singing.  Could there be two more random requests?

But, wow!  God heard me!  And I received!  That very week I got two phone calls.  One inviting me to sing a duet with another woman in church AND a phone call from the Relief Society president.  I wish I remembered who the president was at the time so I could tell her, even today, so many years later, that she was inspired that day to answer a prayer.  I'm sure she just thought she was trying to get things organized for a special dinner. She told me that the church's Relief Society General President was coming to visit our stake and asked me if I would help in the kitchen for the dinner they were putting on for her.  I was never so happy to say yes.  And  humbled.  Wow!  God knew me!  He heard me! He answered that prayer, that very timid prayer with the somewhat strange requests.  But they had been the desires of my heart.  And He knew it.  Wow!

Do you think I went from unbelieving to believing?!  You bet I did. I have never stopped asking since.  And I will be writing about some of the experiences that I have had in asking and the miracles I have seen in my own life because of it.

God knows YOU!  He loves you! And He is waiting to answer your prayers as He has answered mine.  Ask.